Sunday, February 15, 2009

Girls' bathroom observations...

So I was talking with a friend last night about the progression of a girls' bathroom at a bar on any given weekend night. I thought I'd share! :)

(Note: I am obviously overgeneralizing here, but these "stages" come from years of keen observation of the antics in a ladies' room in a bar.)

Stage 1: This is usually fairly early in the evening, we'll say about 8pm. Most women in the bathroom at this point are completely sober, having consumed 0-1 alcoholic beverages. When walking in the bathroom door, minimal acknowledgment is acceptable. Perhaps one makes a comment on the line, or remarks, "A man obviously designed this bathroom! I'd put more stalls in..." etc. The climate is calm.

Stage 2: We'll say this is around 9:30pm, after many women have had 1-3 drinks. There is more conversation, and women are generally friendly, especially to strangers. Compliments are exchanged about each others' outfits, hair, or general appearance. The climate is friendly and basically polite.

Stage 3: This probably occurs around 11pm, when many women have had 3-5 drinks. Many women are angry, jealous, or in need of emotional support. Angry women come in saying, "That girl is such a bitch! Did you see the way she was flirting with Steve when she *knows* I like him" Her friend, also intoxicated, will usually reply, "I know! She's such a #*@#... I hate her." The sad girl might comment to her friend, "Why can't I meet a guy at a bar? Aren't I pretty?" Her friend might say, "No, honey, you're beautiful! The guys here are lame anyway. We should go somewhere else!" This stage is generally for some sort of back-up from a supportive friend.

Stage 4: Around 12:30-1 in the morning, women have typically had 4-6 drinks and are flat-out loud, belligerent, or vomiting. There may be catfights in the bathroom, or a friend holding back another friend's hair as she pukes into the toilet. Many women stumble around, talking about 4 times louder than usual. There are often tears or half-awake women, many of whom are contemplating how to get home. This is by far the ugliest stage of the evening.

Personally, I like stages 1-2 the best... Everyone's still friendly and has a sense of social decency. Stages 3-4 sort of denote the crumbling of courtesy and decency.

Anyway, just thought I'd share... I've seen these patterns for years, and it only felt right to throw this out there. Cheers!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are a true observer of the human condition. It hasn't changed much since I was 21. Rather sad but I agree that stages 1 and 2 are the best. I worry about the trouble a young lady who has had too much to drink can get into when she's attempting to find a way home.