A conversation

So we have some very cool custodians at the school where I work. One of them, Lisa*, is a native Spanish speaker, with whom I usually converse after school for a while. Another, Tony*, is bilingual (English & Spanish), and we usually talk in English.

Sometimes, I talk to Tony and I think I know what God might be like. (I'm on the fence about the whole God thing at this point, but that's immaterial.) Today at 5:30pm, I was getting ready to make some copies and go home. I was tired, having had a very mediocre Monday in the classroom, but I'm usually happy to talk to Tony. He's 65, usually in good spirits, friendly, polite, and helpful.

...and his daughter has cancer. She's in the hospital for weeks at a time (presently, she's in for a month). To help offset medical costs, Tony works two full-time jobs: one from midnight to about 8am, and the other as our evening custodian (3-11pm). Every day when I greet him, though, he's always cheerful and grateful for what he has. It seems sincere, too; at times he'll discuss the human condition and how people are so into their own little worlds that they forget about everything else. ("We've all been there," he'll say with a sad smile. "I know that.")

So what makes people like Tony so... able to deal with things? How come he can (seemingly) handle the cancer of his daughter, yet others whine about such minor things in their lives? How is it that Tony works two full-time jobs, and I have yet to hear him complain? How is he still grateful, optimistic, and pleasant when he gets 5 hours of sleep a night and spends his waking hours at work or in the hospital?

Here's a (paraphrased) typical part the conversation we had today:

Me: Hey, Tony! How are you?
Tony: Oh, I'm good, I'm good. How about you? You ever find a boyfriend? (Note: This is not said in a creepy way, but more of like a dad checking up on his little girl.)
Me: Yeah, actually.
Tony: Oh, wonderful! He treats you good, right?
Me: Of course!
Tony: Good, because you deserve it.
Me: Thank you! How's your wife doing?
Tony: My wife is good, it's my daughter that's not doing so well.
Me: Yeah, how is she?
Tony: She's going through another round of chemo, so she'll be in the hospital for the next month...

(and he goes into detail here)

Tony: But you know what? We do the best we can. Sometimes I don't know what to do, and I wish my father were here to talk to. I want to do that for my children. I want to always be there for them, no matter what. I treat them all the same, and I want them all to be able to talk to me. I want them to treat their kids the way I treat them.
Me: That's wonderful. I'm glad to hear it.
Tony: You know, our time here is a gift. And I do what I can with it. Sometimes, people don't give very much. You say, "Good morning," and they don't say anything. But it's not me. I do what I can. They're in their own little world, but sometimes we all are. That's OK, that's just where they are. I don't take it personal. I just know we all do what we can. You're never going to please everyone, you know? If you try to, you're wasting your time. So make the best of it. Don't let other people get you down.

...

etc.

These are the types of conversations we usually has. He's talked to me about how to stay (relatively happily) married for 40 years... how to deal with a sick child... how fleeting time is... And I'm happy to see him so happy.

Now, to bed so I can make tomorrow a good day. Cheers.





*Names changed to protect anonymity.

Girls' bathroom observations...

So I was talking with a friend last night about the progression of a girls' bathroom at a bar on any given weekend night. I thought I'd share! :)

(Note: I am obviously overgeneralizing here, but these "stages" come from years of keen observation of the antics in a ladies' room in a bar.)

Stage 1: This is usually fairly early in the evening, we'll say about 8pm. Most women in the bathroom at this point are completely sober, having consumed 0-1 alcoholic beverages. When walking in the bathroom door, minimal acknowledgment is acceptable. Perhaps one makes a comment on the line, or remarks, "A man obviously designed this bathroom! I'd put more stalls in..." etc. The climate is calm.

Stage 2: We'll say this is around 9:30pm, after many women have had 1-3 drinks. There is more conversation, and women are generally friendly, especially to strangers. Compliments are exchanged about each others' outfits, hair, or general appearance. The climate is friendly and basically polite.

Stage 3: This probably occurs around 11pm, when many women have had 3-5 drinks. Many women are angry, jealous, or in need of emotional support. Angry women come in saying, "That girl is such a bitch! Did you see the way she was flirting with Steve when she *knows* I like him" Her friend, also intoxicated, will usually reply, "I know! She's such a #*@#... I hate her." The sad girl might comment to her friend, "Why can't I meet a guy at a bar? Aren't I pretty?" Her friend might say, "No, honey, you're beautiful! The guys here are lame anyway. We should go somewhere else!" This stage is generally for some sort of back-up from a supportive friend.

Stage 4: Around 12:30-1 in the morning, women have typically had 4-6 drinks and are flat-out loud, belligerent, or vomiting. There may be catfights in the bathroom, or a friend holding back another friend's hair as she pukes into the toilet. Many women stumble around, talking about 4 times louder than usual. There are often tears or half-awake women, many of whom are contemplating how to get home. This is by far the ugliest stage of the evening.

Personally, I like stages 1-2 the best... Everyone's still friendly and has a sense of social decency. Stages 3-4 sort of denote the crumbling of courtesy and decency.

Anyway, just thought I'd share... I've seen these patterns for years, and it only felt right to throw this out there. Cheers!

"Now walk it by yourself..."

(Those lyrics come from "The Cupid Shuffle," the song I re-wrote for our "Order of Ops" video a few months back.)

Ok. Sooooo it's go time. The time is upon me to decide the next year or two of my life... Eek!

My phone rang last night a little after 8, and I didn't answer because it was a 310 area code, which I didn't recognize. I later checked the voicemail, and it was my regional Peace Corps recruiter... He said he'd received all my info and wanted to set up an interview! Ahhh!!

Long story short, I interview with the PC next Friday (the 13th!) at 3:30pm. (Luckily, we have an in-service that day, so I won't be exhausted from my little monsters!) :)

So the next week, I need to spend a LOT of time reflecting on Peace Corps-related topics... I need to thoroughly examine my culture, belief system, desire to work and live abroad, etc. Craziness! At the same time, I believe we have to decide within a month if we're going to teach at my school again next year... So I have about a month to decide everything. Insanity!

This week in school (with the exception of a horrendous Tuesday) was fine. The past three days were even -dare I say it- enjoyable! I've been trying to roll with the punches a little more, and I think that's helping. If I could just figure out a way to get to that damned 2nd period class... We'll see!

In other news, hashing has been excellent! I've made a lot of new friends, I get to run a lot (I've already logged 11 miles this week, and I'll do 3-7 more this weekend), and I have a whole new hobby! :)

For now, I must return to the gazillion things I have to do so I can get this weekend started! (We had a dance after school today, and I HAD to stop by and dance with my guys for a bit, so I'm still at school.)

Cheers to y'all! Keep me posted on how YOU'RE doing, too!

"Baby, you're a lost cause..."

(That quote is from a Beck song, for those of you who didn't know.)

So life is good, I can't deny... I have a job, good health, awesome friends, a kick-ass family... but I can't help feel that something is still missing. Well, I know what's missing: love! Of course.

I learned a valuable lesson this month, too: it's a bad idea to date active military guys; they leave!! They leave to South Korea, and you wonder if you'll ever see them again. Yuck. And then you kick yourself for getting involved in the first place, knowing there was already a pre-determined expiration date on the whole thing.

Anyway, other than my somewhat sucky love life, things are good. Teaching has its ups and downs, but it's pretty manageable for the time being. I'll be able to finish up the year, no prob. Hashing (my new hobby!) is fun and has afforded me many new local contacts! I've been spending more time with friends lately, and it's nice to be out of my (excessively messy) house (due mostly to messy roommates). I finished my first-ever half marathon last weekend (!!!), and it was a REALLY cool experience! I'd love to do it again!

Next year: no clue what I'll be doing... I've got an application into the Peace Corps, so we'll see what happens with that. My mom is ridiculously nervous about that whole thing, but you know what? It's a pretty incredible opportunity. I personally don't know anyone who's served, and I think it'd be amazing. I could combine my desires to help others and to travel internationally! Bada bing, bada boom! Pending the submission of a set of paperwork, I'll have an interview in L.A. in a few weeks... And I figure, what better time to do this than now? I'm not with anyone, I have no children, I'm extremely mobile... and I have the desire to better the world in drastic ways. What better conditions could possibly exist?

Anyway, I should be off to bed, but I had a few (coughMayacough) readers request an update. Does this help? Cheers!