fuck. (pardon my french)

it's just been a really crappy past few days... here are my recent trials and tribulations:

-i got in a car accident on sunday (a guy turned into me- his fault- but i wasn't able to stop in time and essentially drove right into him)... we were both ok, and i got a free rental car for the time being, but...

-my insurance people called today, saying that they may take my car as a "total loss," i guess which means they'll give me some money and not my car. (curses- i need a car, and i like the one i've got!!)

-my cervical dysplasia (essentially pre-cancer) is back in full force, worse than last time. the doctor wants to be more aggressive with it, so i'm gonna have the leep procedure done sometime in the next week or two. yuck.

-i have to be out of my house in less than 3 weeks now, and i don't know yet where i'm going or what i'm doing.

-i have no idea what i want to do with my life in general.

yuck!!

and here are some of the things i've read about the leep procedure which have sent me into tears:

-Risks
* After the surgery, a small number of women (less than 10%) may have significant bleeding that requires vaginal packing or a blood transfusion.
* Infection of the cervix or uterus may develop (rare).
* Narrowing of the cervix (cervical stenosis) that can cause infertility may occur (rare).
* Once a woman has had LEEP, she has a higher risk of delivering a baby early.


Fantastic... and here we are.

as an aside, i got accepted into ucla's paralegal program, which begins in about a month... i have to decide very quickly if i will be moving to the los angeles area to go back to school for 4.5 months... it's gonna be one heck of an adventure. for now, adieu.